Praying for days to grow shorter
Writing your apologies on doormats
And waiting around the corner
Waiting for bliss’s caress
Choking on memories 
Trying to hold on to your soul
You shake on your knees
And gasp for forgiveness
Ears numb trying to listen
Fists clenched white, in fear
Tighten your eyes
And fight the tears
Wishing erasers worked on everything
Breathing only to keep trying
You know life doesn’t happen twice
The rewind button won’t release It’s stuck on your sins
They pound in your head
Nothing can silence them
You beg to be forgiven 
Wondering if you’ll ever get it
It’s killing you violently
It ravaged you empty
You’re haunted
Try to make it through the night
But drown in the images
When you close your eyes
Its under your skin
An itch that comes back
no matter how many times you scratch
You want to tear off your flesh
You want to be free
But you know this feeling will never leave

Plotting to steal someone else’s

Console,
Sleep
and Ability to eat
How much does it cost
To fix a soul?
How many ways can sorry be spelled
Until it’s understood
That it’s felt
it has worth.
Fighting bad thoughts
In real prison
because I lost..

-cindy